It's been three months since I’ve lost four of my good friends to the ET side. -Early termination, that is. Four of my greatest allies, a good deal of my biggest supporters, not to mention that three of them were in Kitgum with me, and one in Gulu (my closest city, two hours away). I’ve been lonely, isolated, confused. Grieving, if you will. Term two proved to be difficult in ways that Term one was not, and in ways I’ve been questioning if I can even handle. Perhaps, Term 3 will be the same way, and perhaps it will be an amazing Term that makes my entire outlook and attitude turn around. While I have promised myself that I WILL stick it out for the remainder of my time in this country, I would be lying to all of you, and to myself if I said I didn’t think about ET’ing more days than not. In a country plagued by sunlight, I found myself slipping into darkness. I was removed. I was hurting. I was losing myself. And I was alone. I’ve never been good at being lonely, and certainly, that has not changed here, where luxuries are few, and true companionship (at least locally) is hard to come by.
And that’s the ugly truth.
Coming back from an amazing three-week vacation over term break with my boyfriend and fellow PCV's throughout the country has been less than easy, but with all the planning to come and all of the things to complete before I leave for my second round of training (this time, as a trainer), hopefully my mind and body will stay busy enough to keep itself distracted.
Best of luck to all my Cohort 5's out there! Keep on keepin' on!